Tuesday, August 21, 2007

man the sails

Nine and a half pages in my journal today and i'm gonna share just a little snippet with you:
This summer has been sort of a layback summer for me, not a lot a work, not alot of much really. I did accomplish some things worth noteing- *i was in two weddings (caught two bouquets) *repainted the entire inside of my car *counseled at summer camp again and *read the entire bible in 9 weeks but for the most part my summer has been lacking.
God speaks to me from the pages of the bible, through sermons, sometimes though other people and songs but not like he used to- it used to be i couldn't go more than a few days without him interupting my day, he'd speak to me in the middle of my routine- let me know he was there or show me what to do next, give me a little booste of faith or encouragement.
and dare i admit- it's been a few months since i've heard him like that
until today- i was in the park, sitting on the big bumble bee, watching ro walk around and i felt a cool breeze- the kind that lets you know fall is coming- and then it hit me
a picture and then the explination.

i was in a boat in the water, with my legs over the side and my feet dangleing in the water and the breeze was moving my hair.

explinataion- the water is God, his pressence.
the boat is my relationship with him:
this summer i've kinda lounged in the boat. once or twice i jumped in and splashed around, sometimes just letting my feet in the water to cool me off. But it (like my summer) has been lacking - one huge, essential thing. you see this is not just any kind of boat, it's a sail boat and there is no sail drawn. this dosn't mean that i havn't felt the wind, or that my boat hasn't moved with the motion of the waves (created by that wind) but for the most part i have missed one oppertunity after the next to move- to where the wind (his spirit) wants me to go
not only that- but somedays i even dug out my oars and paddled myself where i wanted to go- sometimes even against the wind.

to those of you around me who watch my life- my peers, and to those i lead- i apoligize... i have been a poor example.
Know that they are up now! the sails are where they were meant to be, where they were made to be and filled with wind again. and i intend to keep them that way.

--much love

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