my favorite analogy for life is that of a house...and so i'll use it to describe where i am these days-
the last few years we (me and God) boldozed it all and started from srcatch. we laid a sterdy foundation, and then started on the frame work...
and naturally i got ahead of my builder...with an excited hammer in my hand, i put up some walls, made a little room on my own... i even had the wallpaper and carpet picked out until....
one day God visited my building site, and as he looked at my most asteemed accomplishment and then down at the blueprints... he told me that this room was supposed to be twice this size, that i could leave it, but i'd be settleing for less than the best.
so with tears in my eyes, i set down my hammer and picked up a sledge hammer, we worked side by side, tearing down the walls i had so dilligently put up.
now as i see the bare framework once again, i feel defeated, punished, and alone. But then i glance at the builders blueprints and i know that what he has for that specific room is so much better than what i had thought was best.
the why- the tears that burn my eyes and blur my vision.... the question that can't be answered befor or even in the midst of a struggle...but only after, fills my mind.
i know there is a reason for everything, and it's all for Gods glory but this has to be one of the most painful lessons yet....
and so, with caution i pick the hammer back up. this time i wait for the builders cue. we'll build side-by-side, so that i don't lose his vision and do it on my own again.
someday this house will be complete...glorious....magnificant....and complete!