Friday, September 14, 2007
the reason for the storm
such a simple concept- trouble, tribulation, resistance. yet to ponder the purpose in the pain, the reason for the storms, the providence behind it all, when it seems that God not only allowed them but sent them to us express.
We learn (or have the opportunity too) so much in these storms, about ourselves, of hidden strengths and covered weaknesses, we build endurance, learn dependence but most importantly (from today's prospective) we learn the true definition of devotion...what it means to love God, even with an empty stomach and a negative bank balance, to turn to him and lift weary arms in praise when his blessings are no where in sight.
to echo Job in saying "...yet though he slay me, still will i praise him" it's the beauty of learning to praise him the the midst, not because i know that it will end and his blessings will come but simply because he's worth it. to build a relationship with God not based on our conditions or our emotions (both that change with the wind) but based on who he is, who history shows us he is, who the bible says he is, who he has proved he is.
(blog inspired by 1- job and 2- "passion and purity" current book i'm reading)... hope it rang true somewhere.
much love
--aileen
We learn (or have the opportunity too) so much in these storms, about ourselves, of hidden strengths and covered weaknesses, we build endurance, learn dependence but most importantly (from today's prospective) we learn the true definition of devotion...what it means to love God, even with an empty stomach and a negative bank balance, to turn to him and lift weary arms in praise when his blessings are no where in sight.
to echo Job in saying "...yet though he slay me, still will i praise him" it's the beauty of learning to praise him the the midst, not because i know that it will end and his blessings will come but simply because he's worth it. to build a relationship with God not based on our conditions or our emotions (both that change with the wind) but based on who he is, who history shows us he is, who the bible says he is, who he has proved he is.
(blog inspired by 1- job and 2- "passion and purity" current book i'm reading)... hope it rang true somewhere.
much love
--aileen
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Home again Home again
Home again home again
so- it is with a sore back i write to you this late evening, from a new room,
very formiliar house...
i moved back home yesterday....sigh....
this time i moved into the room that my younger sister lived in -during our
younger years (and thus inherited her cat- which my sinuses are still adjusting
to)
the feelings are mixed (as always) i lament in the feeling of surrendering my
much enjoyed independence (or seperatness from the family unit) but i'm happy
to be home again where the messes don't seem to pile up as quickly and the
power bill comes addressed to my dad and not to me.
my things are all boxed up and i feel a bit disorented (i honestly can't tell you
where my toothbrush is....no worries, i have a spare).
i do feel however, on a whole different note that this move goes right along
with the season i'm in currently.
a month or so ago- while complaining to God about facing yet another year
of wait (when it seems my whole life has been one big long one) i felt him say
to me--- it's not a season of wait, it's a season of WEIGHT!
which may not mean a lot to you, but to me it was real big- and now with the
first few steps of this new season behind me- it keeps me looking ahead to what
he's promised he'll do in me (if i seek his will and follow his guidence)
funny how packing things up and moving and reorganizing things (re prioritizing-
in a way) can cause you to re-evaluate your life, your focus and what you
spend your time on.... to see passions of yesterday lying in a box that has been
in a closet for 6 months (does something to ya)
so- i am home again--- physically and spiritually and though it might be the cat
hair in the room taking it's affect- my eyes tear up a bit at the thought of being
back under the care of my parents- under their roof- under their provision again-
there's a feeling of safty here that the world will never duplicate and i'm gonna
enjoy it while i can!
hope ya'll have a wonderful night
much love
--aileen
so- it is with a sore back i write to you this late evening, from a new room,
very formiliar house...
i moved back home yesterday....sigh....
this time i moved into the room that my younger sister lived in -during our
younger years (and thus inherited her cat- which my sinuses are still adjusting
to)
the feelings are mixed (as always) i lament in the feeling of surrendering my
much enjoyed independence (or seperatness from the family unit) but i'm happy
to be home again where the messes don't seem to pile up as quickly and the
power bill comes addressed to my dad and not to me.
my things are all boxed up and i feel a bit disorented (i honestly can't tell you
where my toothbrush is....no worries, i have a spare).
i do feel however, on a whole different note that this move goes right along
with the season i'm in currently.
a month or so ago- while complaining to God about facing yet another year
of wait (when it seems my whole life has been one big long one) i felt him say
to me--- it's not a season of wait, it's a season of WEIGHT!
which may not mean a lot to you, but to me it was real big- and now with the
first few steps of this new season behind me- it keeps me looking ahead to what
he's promised he'll do in me (if i seek his will and follow his guidence)
funny how packing things up and moving and reorganizing things (re prioritizing-
in a way) can cause you to re-evaluate your life, your focus and what you
spend your time on.... to see passions of yesterday lying in a box that has been
in a closet for 6 months (does something to ya)
so- i am home again--- physically and spiritually and though it might be the cat
hair in the room taking it's affect- my eyes tear up a bit at the thought of being
back under the care of my parents- under their roof- under their provision again-
there's a feeling of safty here that the world will never duplicate and i'm gonna
enjoy it while i can!
hope ya'll have a wonderful night
much love
--aileen
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