New Shoes

the world of womens shoes is a strange and particular thing- the cutest ones tend to be the ones that hurt the most.
I've always been an big fan of flats and flip flops myself but a few months ago i made a discover (that has changed my wardrobe drastically) i learned that after a few very painful days of wearing the cute heels, my feet got used to them and i could walk without having to take them off every time i sat down.

which makes me think- how many times have i looked at things in my life that i want to walk out and not even tried because i was sure i couldn't endure the pain. how many times have i passed something up because the initial pain of trying it out was to much to handle.

as i look back on the most painful times in my life, the times when i was heart broken and lonely or lost and hurting, confuzed and uncertain of anything. i see that those times, the pain was what drove me to become better, stronger, wiser. i walk differently now because of that pain. - and thus is true of today--- so i will look at it as not another trial to bare and endure or another heartache to get over, i'll instead look at it as yet another pair of shoes to break in... knowing that after the first few painful days i will learn to walk in them!

--much love

So much for sleeping!

so yah- camp was this last week- i'll write more about that later and my experience as counselor for 7 amazing girls but for now here are some pictures for you.

more pictures from wedding week

the whole bridal shower gang!


at the bridal shower everyone was spit into teams (of three) and then they had to write a poem about JoAnne and Chad using all these random items... i was very impressed at the quality of poems! they're going in her book for sure


said poem writting


another bridal shower game... they had to draw a picture of Jo in her dress and vail and all... but on top of their heads... very humerous (also going in the book)


and this "folks" is my new brother!!!


trying out a new look!

Barns and nobel starbucks (bacholerette party planning session)


putting together the programs (two nights before)


tying bows and punching holes like pros!

we were all very tierd...sunny fell asleep half way through the project


finished product (haha...not without having to reglue a page on the next day... yes, all 140 of them)


waiting to get our nails done


getting pretty


finished product... no touchups needed (yay)


rehersal

the bridesmaid dresses have an uneven hem (on purpose) so we told jo we were all gonna stand like this...(no we didn't)


rehersal dinner (me natty and cousin mallory) holding up the beans... uh yah, no reason really

getting her bacholerette party attire on!


pretty as ever!


friends cousins and sisters- fun times


i made her shirt... it say's "Last night as a STRONG"... but always a sister!

Free from the vortex

my sister JoAnne got married yesterday! and now the vortex (the wedding vortex) that has been holding me captive is gone. they are on their honey moon and my hair has been washed free of all hairspray! anyhow here are some pics of the day (i couldn't edit any of them cause my computer is being stupid so sorry some of them are dark).




here's Jo- sipping some 7up (she sent us to the store for crakers and then called us just as we were leaving to tell us she also needed some 7up...)




me and the sister getting ready (i think we actually look alike here) me no makeup yet





at the church...getting her into the dress...




all three strong girls... one down two to go!




Jo and Chad posing for a million pictures.















me and my bouquet. by the end of the night i had two... i caught the bouquet that she tossed too...















me JoAnne and Sarah (jo's best friend from boston)















we were being the statue of liberty! (board standing around waiting for our turn to be photographed by my uncle jim)











my mom was alredy bawling by this time... my grandpa asked "who gives this man" and my dad gave her had to chad as he said "her mother and i do"... look at his face!












post wedding, post reception... off to the honeymoon









bridesmaids winding down- sarah and micah... uh not sure









me Merideth and Natty











Natty and Micah busting a move











Charlies Angels pose!












Micah had a little spill...












and this is my impression of bridezilla... loving nickname for my sister the last few days...

more pics to come!

Afternoon stars

the stars, the stars i love are out now, though it is only 8:49 in the morning and i don't mean they're out in some other country where it's night...no they are out here, in bend Oregon where the sun is shining and it's freezing (really at least in my apartment) they are out, always, i just can't see them til all the other lights dim and the sun sets on the busy day, then i can see them, for a while until the sun rises again announcing another day of things to be done and then my beloved stars disappear again, but not in reality, just in my feeble human site, they are constant, they don't move (until they fall and go out) but for the most part i can know that they are always there and when night falls i can see them again-
kinda like God, he's always there, even when the sun in shining in my eyes and i can't see him, even when my days are busy and i only just whisper a prayer in frustration, or when tears are all i have, and the words don't quite make it out of my head and heart, he's there, steady and constant, never to move or fall or burn out, he'll never leave me, he'll never reject me and he's got his eye on my life and he knows what all this is leading me too (even when he chooses not to let me in on it) there's an end here somewhere, or a pause at lease, when my life will make sense once again (soon i hope).
until then i will just try to remember that day or night, like the stars, he's always there and to enjoy the times when the world around me is dark enough to see him!

--much love

SPREAD the gospel, SING the gospel....same thing!

so a few months ago a did something I've wanted to do for 5 years now. i applied for the continental singers (it's a music based mission trip)thank you to those of you who filled out my references!
I'm gonna be leaving on January 17th and will be back on May 5th! so so excited. i'm moving out of my apartment and back into my parents house (to save more money) since the trip cost a whopping 6000$ and I'll be having some fun fund raising events (which I'll post as they get planned) the first of which is a yard sale, August 24-26th so if you have any junk you'd like to pass along for me to sell that would be much appreciated.
I also have cool support letters with Prayer cards so if you want one let me know (i should have some with me at all times) and if you just wanna help out with anything, planning or money let me know and I'll tell you how you can help!

the website to the continentals is to the right under leens links- check them out! and maybe someone should book an event at westside so y'all could see me in action (the first three months of the trip is touring the US from church to church) and the second part is in the Philippines (i know i spelled that wronge...opps).

anyhow, that's the newest news in my life- now you've been updated!
--much love
-aileen

She

she


she was born into a loving family- a Christian family.



she had parents who loved her and loved each other.
she asked Jesus into her heart at age 7.



she had two bibles, knew all the stories and songs,







but as she grew up...
she hated who she was.
she hated the way she walked
she hated the way she talked
she hated her skin and hair, her name and everything else about her
she longed to disappear



she wondered, how a mighty God could love one such as her.
she wondered often if he even existed.
she wondered what would happen if she died to find out he didn't exist.
she thought of death a lot.
she got real sick.
she had a lot of pain and lost alot of weight, which made them make fun of her even more.
she got tested and retested for a year and finally
she was diagnosed with a disease.
she wouldn't die from it but it would change her life
she'd have to think about it for the rest of her life, every day, every time she ate.



now more than ever she doubted Gods existence.



she got real good at blending in to the crowd.
she wanted more than anything to make all the pain go away but didn't know how.
all the while
she still spent her summers at bible camp and her Sundays in church, singing the songs she couldn't believe.
she always had a smile on her face so no-one would suspect.
til one night
they gathered around her
as so many had before
they layed their hands on her and prayed to that God who said he loved her.
she went home.
she had been healed.



days past.
weeks.
still not getting sick.
she got retested and ...after 3 years... it was gone.
this disease that has no cure, that stays with you for the rest of your life... gone.
in that moment.
in that instant.
in that dark kitchen as she sat on the counter with all the hope she could muster in her.
her doubt melted away.
she found her value and her worth in one simple truth.
He is real
She felt his touch
and she (aileen) will never doubt God again.